Mother creates legacy for son by writing a book – after he died in her arms just 72 minutes after birth

A Northampton mother has created a “wonderful legacy” for her son by writing a book about her family’s experience, after he died in her arms just 72 minutes after he was born.

Tamarin Norwood, from Lower Harlestone, documented her experience of continuing the pregnancy of her second child Gabriel to full term – despite knowing he would only sadly live briefly.

Gabriel passed away in Tamarin’s arms just over an hour after he was born at Northampton General Hospital in December 2018, surrounded by loved ones.

The “moving and uplifting” book, called ‘The Song of the Whole Wide World’, will launch on Thursday (February 22).

Not only has Tamarin written this book, but she works with other bereaved parents to help them find creative ways to come to terms with their loss – just like she did.

In collaboration with baby loss charity Held In Our Hearts, Tamarin has created therapeutic writing resources for bereaved parents and these are distributed widely throughout NHS Trusts.

“It was a much-wanted pregnancy,” Tamarin told the Chronicle & Echo. “At the first scan there were already signs of something and we thought it was nothing.”

Having been asked to go back for many tests and scans, it was five months into the pregnancy that it was finally determined what the problem was.

The level of amniotic fluid had almost completely run out, meaning Gabriel’s lungs were not going to fully develop and he would not be able to breathe for long – if at all – when he was born.

“When we knew he wouldn’t be able to breathe when he was born, everything was simplified and there was only one possible outcome,” said Tamarin. “The best possible thing we could hope for was for him to be born alive and to have some time with him.

“We hoped he would be born and die peacefully and our family would gather and meet him. All of those things happened. It’s a sad story but it was the most peaceful and hoped-for outcome.”

Tamarin’s eldest son Anatole, who was aged four at the time, was also able to meet his younger brother.

Tamarin shared that they were pleased to have been given the choice about whether to continue the pregnancy, and she fondly holds onto the 72 minutes shared with Gabriel.

“I remember those 72 minutes as though they were candle-lit, even though you can’t light candles in hospitals,” said Tamarin. “My memory is this wonderful, warm and homely 72 minutes with all the family together.”

Tamarin went on to have a daughter, Ottilie, who is now two years old. With a six-year gap between Ottilie and Anatole, the family is pleased that time represents the part Gabriel played in their lives.

The mother and soon-to-be published author wrote the book by accident, when she documented memories and feelings to make sense of what she was going through.

“Writing when a baby dies can be a powerful way to make their memory as big as it deserves to be,” she said. “I didn’t set out to share my story with the thought this could benefit other bereaved parents. It’s a wonderful legacy for our son.”

When asked what message she hopes the book will send to others, Tamarin added: “Even when the worst happens and when things are completely beyond our control, we still have hope in the way we try to craft our understanding of what’s happened.

“Writing can be a powerful tool in the face of grief. I hope the book gives bereaved families the hope that they will be alright again.”

The book has united Tamarin with a community of others with shared experiences, which she has found comfort in.

With the book to be included in multiple medical and midwifery curricula globally, Tamarin also finds comfort in knowing Gabriel’s “brief life might make a real difference”.