The John Griff Column: Thank you for your service
They are the people who keep the wheels of our communities turning – paid or otherwise. They are the people who become part of our lives through the familiarity of what they do and the people that they are.
But do we ever stop to think about them – or thank them? Are we missing a trick which might otherwise elevate our appreciation of them and also our own awareness of value?
We said goodbye to our village postman last month. Dave had been in post (sic) for well over a dozen years, delivering the mail in all weathers, usually with a healthy degree of robust banter and good humour as well as the occasional pithy reflection of the news of the day.
He did a lot more besides, too. He checked on those who he knew to be going through a hard time or an emotional depth as well as those enjoying a better run of things. As an observer he knew most of what was going on in the village and so became something of an oracle who would often deliver more than the morning post.
Beyond a gruff exterior, once you got to know him (and it didn’t take long) he was someone whose arrival in his familiar van would always be welcomed. He could dish it out the brickbats as well as take them too – over the years I enjoyed and exchanged a number of healthy insults with him, none of which were anything other than well-intentioned. But now, he’s gone. To retirement.
In all honesty when the news of his forthcoming release to another existence became known there was both sadness and joy.
Sadness because it would mean an inevitable change in the day-to-day dynamic of all our lives, but joy at knowing that he was heading for the things he really wanted to do with his life and partner – and the list was long.
It didn’t take long for word of a collection for Dave to spread. Donations came flooding in from all over the village by bank transfer as well as a bucket on the bar of the pub. By the time Dave made his last delivery there was enough to give him a couple of modest, jokey presents, his wife a lovely bouquet of flowers and a four-figure sum to indulge in the motorhome the two of them were going to go off on their travels in.
A sendoff was announced for a late Sunday afternoon – I’ve never seen the pub so packed with people. And for once, Dave was lost for words. Out of uniform, here was a man not altogether comfortable with the acclamation being accorded him by people he had known for many years but almost entirely in a professional capacity. When asked if he’d like to respond, he declined and seemed truly moved – which was a first. Instead, and a few weeks later, he discreetly let it be known that he’d like to buy a round of drinks for the regulars – and put some of the same money he’d been given behind the bar to do it.
Dave’s story is by no means unique - the same has happened to milkmen, posties, church wardens and more all over the country many times. But I wonder whether it will continue as society moves on and our interactions with each other become more remote, both technologically and emotionally.
I suggest that no amount of emails, text messages or ‘likes’ can come even close to human contact and the simple power of the phrase ‘thank you’ when uttered directly. Thanks in part to the pandemic some years ago, I spend a lot of my time working from home – I can go days without leaving the house or speaking to anyone face-to-face.
Hybrid working has now given way to a new norm where incoming employees demand at least some home working in their lives and it's not necessary to be elderly or living in a remote area to feel lonely or unappreciated. Both are highly corrosive and dangerous to health.
With the UK’s Mental Health Awareness Week coming up during May – but not solely because of it - perhaps we have a responsibility to be better aware of those around us who do what they do for the common good – paid or unpaid. Saying a sincere ‘thank you’ takes a moment but the impact can be profound.
Next month the West Northants Women’s Forum will be announcing the winners of the Inspirational Woman of the Year awards - I’ve seen some of the astonishing nominations. Recognition doesn’t have to be financial – appreciation of a kind gesture, piece of work or just some time spent can say a lot more. We’re all here just once – appreciation of others by us elevates us all. So we feel good by making someone else feel good.
Enjoy your retirement Dave - cheers!