The John Griff Column: Seeking peace from the noise
The obvious subject for this week would, of course, be that of recent days in Washington, not only for our own PM, but also - and horrifically - the democratically elected President of Ukraine. Frankly, I was disgusted by the Trump and Vance attack dog displays – a masterclass in diplomatic ignorance. So I’ll leave the activities of the Billionaire Boys Club bullies to others to debate.
Instead – and perhaps being driven to seek solace in silence from the screaming headlines, I offer what might be a kind of soothing balm if you are looking for it. Hate-speak is now not only commonplace but almost the accepted norm. Fuelled by a 24/7 torrent of often baseless accusation and ramped-up, overblown opposition, what purports to be truth frequently deafens the reality. But we have to take some blame accepting or demanding ever larger portions of such fiction. Too often we sit directly in the path of a deafening cacophony of mainstream ‘news’ which isn’t news at all – but instead an often a screaming soundscape of nonsense.
There are alternatives though – including engaging without necessarily judging.
A couple of weeks ago I was part of a group which had dinner with a local MP. We all came from different political perspectives – by which I don’t mean ‘opposing’. Listen to the sometimes pantomime-esque performances in the houses of Commons (SHOULD there be live cameras and microphones there?) and you’ll find that opposition isn’t as apparent as we might believe. Our MP guest said as much – I believe them too. By the time our meal and discussions came to an end there seemed to be a general consensus that our guest was someone we could all do business with whether we’d voted for them or not. Nobody had taken issue with anything said (under Chatham House rules) and we all parted company amicably, better informed than when we had first gathered. Like-minded people of all political hues exist in the House I suggest – it’s one of the ways that coalition and concord comes about. Mercifully we don’t tend to witness the kind of despicable behaviour which saw the Oval Office become a bearpit last week, but the game of Twist and Spin OUTSIDE the Chamber here has to operate if it is to legitimise its own worthlessness, so the game continues.
If you’ve listened to the Drivetime shows I now host on NLive Radio (Mondays and Tuesdays from 4pm), you’ll know that I welcome as wide a spectrum of guests as I can. This week I had (amongst others) finalists in this weekend’s Inspirational Woman of the Year awards scheme put on by the Womens’ Forum of the West Northamptonshire Council, the MP for Daventry, Stuart Andrew and the Director of Royal and Derngate’s current show ‘Tambo & Bones’, Matthew Xia. None of the awards finalists are public speakers whilst both Stuart and Matthew (a former BBC Radio 1Xtra presenter and Hip-hop DJ) clearly are. None of us came to the microphones with any preconceived ideas or trying to get one over on the other. None of my guests knew me from Adam, and yet we were all polite, amicable, approachable and – crucially – respectful towards each other. We neither needed nor used any kind of twist or spin in our conversations. Instead I think we were all plain speaking and straightforward, to the benefit, I hope, of the audience. Have a listen yourself one day and judge for yourself.
My point is that observing common good manners in conversation and giving each other space to reply achieves more than just heated verbal aggression which invariably leads to misunderstanding and misdirected repercussions. It is, perhaps, one of the ways in which the POTUS and VPOTUS went so catastrophically wrong. Think, before you speak, would have been good advice.
Beyond observing good manners and taking that time before engaging, there is another way to get away from the noise – withdrawal. Last Saturday saw the first anniversary of my mother’s passing and another of the ‘firsts’ since her departure – Christmas, Easter, birthday, wedding anniversary etc. I’d found its approach emotionally deafening, so on the day I decided to withdraw by taking the dogs for a long walk - it was a beautiful, peaceful, sunny morning. Two hours later and nearing home, I realised that this particular anniversary was the last of the firsts, whereupon the noise fell away and my sense of losing a mother was replaced by peaceful memories of the woman who bore me and gave me my values.
Silence, is golden.