It’s good to talk…
How often do we let ourselves down when it comes to communicating with each other? How frequently do world events proceed, stumble and fail for want of less than fulsome understanding by one party of the things being said by another? How far does that failure manifest itself in our own, day to day lives? What is the cost of failure versus the benefits of success?
On Tuesday this week I ran a piece on N-Live Radio about a new, online platform which aims to support young people between the ages of 13 and 30 over the separation of their parents. ‘Split Happens’ also offers an AI element which aims to address current UK research (which I couldn’t independently verify) which indicates that one in four young people say they have nobody to talk to. Apparently almost half of those surveyed indicated that they didn’t understand why their parents decided to split up either.
Although I was amazed by the statistics being put forward, I was less surprised by the scheduling of the platform’s introduction. For a long time, the week immediately after the start of a new year has been described as ‘Breakup Day’, ‘Divorce Day’, or by a similar epithet. How far such terms are indicative of the truth or are more likely the constructs of PR firms looking for business remains to be seen - but the extended festive season can certainly bring internal pressures which many (including me) have either witnessed or experienced.
Notwithstanding the commerciality (or otherwise) of such services, our willingness or perhaps our ability to communicate with each other seems to be not only in question but accepted as diminishing. How many times have you been sent a textual message on one of the plethora of social media platforms that exist, or perhaps received an email where a simple phone or face to face conversation would have been far easier to effect, carrying with it a far lower chance of misunderstanding? For all our ingenuity, we seem to be losing the ability to communicate effectively – and thus successfully. Are we actually retreating in our abilities whilst congratulating ourselves for supposedly advancing them?
Possibly. Look at the world today or any facet of it, and communication is integral to its composition, development, announcement and introduction. Each, if not all of those steps can be miscommunicated and often is. Quite apart from the language though, how appropriately do we communicate? How often do we select a less than optimal method? How often do we think we’ve done the job right, only to find that our intention has been misconstrued, misbelieved or otherwise rejected? How far might we advance our interests or our intentions if we paused to consider, before proceeding? Is a text message truly the right way to get the point across? Might there be a better, more efficient way to make ourselves understood before we commit to the ‘send’ button?
Throughout my working life (much longer than my broadcasting career), I have always applied the ‘look before you leap’ approach to my communications. I cannot control how I am going to be interpreted or construed, but I can certainly be careful in how I articulate my thoughts – I try to be clear, although I am the first to admit that I don’t always get it right. Before Christmas and whilst addressing the audience of a local carol concert, I inadvertently got the Christian name of one of its sponsors wrong. The lady concerned was extremely gracious about it – but I was mortified and kicked myself about it for days afterwards. Making things worse for me was that the entire audience and all the performers knew I’d failed, but I didn’t until I was told later and - mercifully – sufficiently soon to go and apologise for my mistake. If you can’t get something as fundamental as a person’s name right, you need to take a good, long look at yourself, which I did. I know how I got it wrong - I hope it will never happen again.
Last weekend, Lois and I spent a few hours in the company of some of our neighbours for drinks and chats. Bob and Stella are warm, generous, funny people who love a good yarn or gossip. We’d originally planned to visit for a couple of hours but ended up spending more than double that time – during which we covered a lot of ground. We’d both really looked forward to visiting and commented how we’d enjoyed their company, extending and cementing our friendship as we did. It lifted our day and our spirits.
Communication is a skill which we could all do with brushing up on – constantly.