‘One day can make a difference’: Northampton couple explain joys of being respite carers for foster children

A local couple who are respite carers for foster children are sharing their experiences to shed some light on what this kind of care entails.

Ruth and Steve from Spinney Hill, started providing respite care after they saw their neighbours offering full-time foster care.

In March last year, the pair became accredited carers, which meant they could look after their neighbours’ foster children when they needed a break.

After enjoying the experience, the couple decided to extend their services and became approved as short term foster carers with foster agency ISP, and they now specialise in offering respite care offering short breaks to children when full-time carers need a break.

Ruth said: “Steve has experience with children as he had a son who was 12 when I first met him and we’ve helped to look after nieces, nephews and friend’s children. However, fostering someone else’s child is a different experience.

“When you first welcome a child, especially for such a short period, it can be quite intense. “It’s a new experience for the child, so you need to make them as comfortable and welcomed as possible.

“Even just little things like showing them how to use the shower can be important first steps when they come over.

“For some of the older children who are more aware of what’s going on, they may have been to several different respite foster parents, so the biggest challenge is to put them at ease and try to ensure that they enjoy their time spent with us.”

To help children through the transition, Ruth who is 49 and Steve who is 53, put time into building relationships with the children beforehand, either visiting them or inviting them over to see the house, which can be crucial for building trust and reducing any feelings of anxiety before the stay begins.

Ruth added: “It’s always important to make it clear that we want them to stay, and that nothing will be changing when they go back home – we attempt to make it feel like a holiday for them as much as possible.

“We pack their time with us full of activities such as baking, cooking and gardening as well as visits to parks, play areas and local places of interest where they may not have been before.

“We try hard to adapt the activities to suit the age of the children.

“When they go back home, we love seeing their faces as they tell their carers what they’ve done and showing them some of the things they’ve made.”

Full-time fostering may be on the cards in the future, but at the moment, with Steve working full time and Ruth having other commitments, respite gives them the chance to make a much-needed difference.

“Before the pandemic, we would welcome children a couple of times a month, but we usually provide more periods of respite care during the school holidays as it’s less disruptive for children,” she said.

“As we’re not always local, it wouldn’t be feasible to take children to school, but over the weekends and during school holidays is the perfect time to give other carers a break.”

Over the past couple of months, Ruth and Steve had three periods of respite planned, but the pandemic meant they could not go ahead, but they are now excited to be welcoming children back to their home.

“We know that the past few months have been really intense for foster families, and they may be eager for some respite," Ruth said.

“We’re more than happy to offer them that chance, we’ve missed having children around and are keen to help others where and when we can.”

Ruth would strongly encourage anyway contemplating taking the leap into respite care to do so.

“Respite is a brilliant stepping stone if you’re not sure, or not quite ready to take on full-time fostering,” she continued.

“It’s an incredibly rewarding experience – not only are you helping youngsters make great memories, but you’re providing an invaluable break for foster carers.

“The best part of our role is that, when you’re a respite carer, just one day can make all the difference.”

The couple said the approval process was a lengthy one, but worth it in the end and are also grateful for the support they get from having their own social worker and fostering advisor.

To find out more about respite care, visit the ISP website.

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