Northampton dad creates ‘warts and all’ account of life with a disabled child to help others

A father-of-three who is a carer for his disabled son has created an online resource to help other parents going through the same.

Gary Herbert, from West Hunsbury, describes his 18-year-old son Lewis, who has a severe form of epilepsy, as ‘amazing, very brave, inspiring, but severely disabled’.

Lewis’ condition has, of course, had a huge affect on the whole family’s lifestyle, as well as their mental health, which is why his dad wants to share his experience in the form of a website to help others.

Gary said: “Lewis is severely disabled and relies on us for all his care needs, he cannot walk or talk. Epilepsy has stolen his childhood.

“I love Lewis dearly and always will. I would do absolutely anything for him, but every single day I wish I could take away his pain and suffering.

“Lewis is my hero and we all adore him and love him unconditionally. Although he has no quality of life and just exists, he is our world and we would be totally lost without him.”

The website, entitled ‘The Journey of a Special Needs Father’, covers a number of topics from Gary’s perspective, advice and guidance for other parents, a regular blog, details of the dedicated dad’s fundraising and ways to get in touch.

The 43-year-old added: “I feel I have gained a lot of knowledge about what it’s like for a father of a disabled child or adult, so I’ve created a website of my journey during the past 18 years and the numerous challenges we as a family have and continue to face.

“It has taken me a long time to be brave enough to share my story as it’s brutally honest and very real.

“I am nervous, apprehensive and very worried about how it is going to be perceived, but I always promised myself that if I was going to do it, then I would be totally honest and tell it like it really is, warts and all.

“Men don’t tend to speak out, so if this website helps support any other fathers or mothers of disabled children or adults out there who find themselves in a similar position then it will be worth opening up and leaving myself vulnerable.

“I would like to stress that everybody’s journey will be different, this is my own perspective of what I have been through as a father during the past 18 years, but if it helps anyone realise that it’s OK for them to feel the way they do, then it will have been worthwhile.”

Gary’s website can be found here and he can be contacted on his social media platforms; Twitter: @TheJSNF, Instagram: @garydherbert and Facebook: @JSNF20.

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