'Out of date definitions of masculinity responsible for shocking rise in violence against women'

Ashley Riley, who shares his experience of suffering a mental health crisis in 2023 on his online platform ‘Blue Soul Shoes’ said: “The warped, social media led, power centric definition of 'masculinity' is one of the main reasons for the dreadful increase we have seen in violence against women.”

Figures are contained in the first national analysis of the scale of violence against women and girls (VAWG) by the National Police Chiefs’ Council (NPCC), showed that two million women are estimated to be victims of violence perpetrated by men each year in an epidemic so serious it amounts to a “national emergency."

Crimes including stalking, harassment, sexual assault and domestic violence affect one in 12 women in England and Wales, with the number of recorded offences growing by 37 percent in the past five years and the perpetrators getting younger.

“You only have to go online right now and type in ‘masculinity’ to see the warped, outdated and over physical and over sexualised definition.” said Ashley. “It is not enough for individuals, organisations and businesses to recognise there are growing problems with misogyny and aggressive behaviours towards women but do nothing about it.”

On his website Blue Soul Shoes, Ashley shares that at the start of 2023 as an outgoing, comfortable, loud, business owning confident man he started suffering from a low mood and had a brief panic attack. Within a month it turned in to life stopping anxiety and deep, dark depression.

“As part of my treatment I have undertaken therapy and part of that has been learning what real masculinity is.” Ashley continued.

“Too often the world defines ‘masculinity’ as being emotionless, physically strong, sexually strong, wealthy and unconquerable. If you are working in business masculinity is working all the hours available, keeping on top of emails at the weekend, eating on the move, socialising with fatty food and alcohol while putting others, including your family, second.”

“Real masculinity is about accepting emotions are variable, knowing that it’s ok to not to always be on your game, recognising that happiness is not about money, that ‘turning up’ for yourself is really important and asking for help is okay.”

Ashley believes that educating and training men about real masculinity is not only essential for male mental health but that it would make a real difference to violence against women and attitudes of misogyny.

He is delivering a workshop to businesses across the UK called Modern Masculinity in the Workplace that addresses what real masculinity is and how that has to play an essential role in men's behaviours.

This workshop includes what is male mental health, what is ‘poor’ mental health, what middle aged male mental health is and what is masculinity. It goes onto look at how men show know ‘themselves’ and know when to help others and to know when other men need help.

“We know that 77 percent of men have suffered with common mental health symptoms like anxiety, stress or depression.” Ashley continued. “We also know that 40 percent of men have never spoken to anyone about their mental health.”

“What this means in reality is that too often men are ‘self-medicating.’ This means they use alcohol, tobacco or drugs to feel ‘better’. That can too often lead to dysfunctional behaviour which includes violence against women.”

“It is not enough for businesses to have the basics in place to support men's mental health when things go wrong.” Ashley added. “It is not enough for businesses to recognise there are growing problems with misogyny and aggressive behaviours towards women but do nothing about it.”

That is why addressing this issue through education and challenge can make a real and lasting difference.

To find out more about Ashley’s mental health journey, his appearance on the BBC and other media, for more information on the Modern Masculinity in the Workplace Workshop or to find out more about Blue Soul Shoes you can visit https://bit.ly/BlueSoulShoes.