How to fill the nest when your chicks have flown to university - advice from St Andrew's Healthcare in Northampton

For new parents struggling with sleepless nights, people with toddlers who never get five minutes peace and mums and dads who are sick of the school run, the time when their child is due to leave home may not come soon enough.

Reaching the milestone of 18 may seem like a million-light-years away, but talk to any parent who is about to wave their child off to university and I am willing to wage a bet that they insist the time has gone too quick.

Although it might seem liberating to no longer pick up wet towels and turn off lights when no one is in the room, there are many parents who find packing their child off to university harder than they thought.

This is called Empty Nest Syndrome, a term commonly used for parents who feel a genuine sadness, loss and even depression when their child moves out. Despite it being a difficult period of time for the parent, it is possible to manage the transition effectively, as mum and dad will always be needed, just in different ways.

Before they slam the front door one last time, it’s important to remember that parents have an integral role in preparing the young person for the next stage in their life. It is your job to reassure them that you are going to be fine once they have gone and not to guilt trip them.

But, at the same time, you need to reassure them that their family home, will always be there for them. Look upon this next stage of life as an opportunity for yourself – not just your child. The last 18 years has been spent putting the needs of your child first. Now, that is about to change.

The experience of letting go is emotionally challenging for both the parent and child. Particularly for stay at home parents. But, in order to mitigate these emotions, it is important to acknowledge how you are feeling and why. Remember, that this is it’s a well-documented phenomenon and you will not be the only person who is feeling this way.

You may possibly have felt like this before; first day at primary school, moving to new secondary school, heading out alone for the first time. These are all markers of time, which can really impact how we feel. Here are some suggestion coping strategies:

Stay in touch – agree arrangements ahead of time. How often, when and make sure you are both happy with the plan. Having an agreement in place will make you feel reassured. Time for self-care – once your child moves out, you may find yourself with a lot more spare time, so take advantage of this.

Connect with old friends, start a new activity or embark upon a brand new personal challenge.

Keep busy – accept that for the first few weeks you might feel a little lost, so plan your time carefully ensuring you are busy. Having nothing to do might further exacerbate your low mood so ensure you have something to do soon after they have gone.

Set goals for the future – do not be afraid to look ahead and make some plans for the future.

Now may be the ideal opportunity to take that long haul holiday you have always wanted to do. Whichever way you find to cope, it is important to know that feeling anxious, depressed or just a bit low during the first few weeks of empty nesting is completely normal.

If it continues for longer and starts to significantly impact your day to day functioning, then do seek medical help. But remember, this feeling will not last forever. Be proud of the person that your child has become. So do not fear the empty nest, instead use this time to spread your wings and take flight in a new direction.