The Chron looks at the controversial issue and the arguments for and against smacking
Smacking debate.
TO smack or not to smack? It is a question that has been asked a lot recently.
It started when ITV soap Coronation Street sparked a storm of protest from viewers after an episode aired showing a 10-year-old child being smacked.
Not long after and the topic was in the news again, when Tottenham MP David Lammy claimed Labour’s 2004 decision to tighten up the smacking law was partly to blame for last summer’s riots.
A few days later and the Mayor of London, Boris Johnson, jumped on the band wagon, and supported calls for a change in the law to allow parents to smack.
If you are not aware, current legislation, under The Children Act of 2004, means mild smacking is permitted under a “reasonable chastisement” defence against common assault.
However, hitting that leaves a mark is punishable with up to five years in jail.
But whereas the majority of people who took part in the Chronicle & Echo’s poll on its Facebook site asking “Should parents be allowed to smack their children?” voiced an overwhelming “yes” - 82% voted ‘yes’ to 18% ‘no’. The various experts we spoke to in Northamptonshire said that smacking was not the best way to communicate or instil discipline in children.
“It can demonstrate a might is right message to the child,” said Richard Alexander, who has been a chartered psychologist for over 30 years.
“Parents will sometimes smack a child to release their own anger or frustration rather than looking at ways to manage the child that are consistent.
“Smacking can also have the opposite effect parents are looking for. It can act as an adrenaline rush for children, in the way people get from bungee jumping or rock climbing, activating rather than deterring the behaviour. It is better to try and establish communication rather than using a physical response to behaviour.
“Explaining to a child the emotional implications of their behaviour, like ‘when you do this it makes mum feel sad,’ will make the child more likely to understand that their behaviour causes distress.”
Mr Alexander also disagreed with statements made by David Lammy that banning smacking was a particular problem for working class parents.
“My experience of violence in the home is that it cuts across all classes and cultures.
“There is a distinction between families who use violence in a restrained and moderate way to parents who are just violent.
“But it is possible for this to escalate, and while it may be the odd smack when they are under five, once they are seven or eight it is a smack with a hair brush or at 10 or 11 and it’s a broom handle and a bit harder. It is a slippery slope once you are using physical punishment.”
Sara Newton, a youth consultant from Northampton, who is also a former MET police officer, agreed it was not sensible to relate the London riots to smacking.
“I have been in these homes in my past profession. The young people involved in the London riots probably came from the most violent and screamy families.
“We often blame the parents but it is a combination of so many things.
Sara believes good communication between the parent and the child is far more important.
“I’m really against any sort of discipline that involves inflicting force onto another person, from what I have seen all it does is break down the relationship between the child and parent.
“When it gets to the teen years it can deteriorate to no relationship. I think people get confused between discipline and a disciplined approach. Just hitting out at your children is failing to discipline them.
“We have to be clear and consistent with what we do, to demonstrate what is ok and what is not ok. I think you should have five main rules and stick to them.”
Lisa Warner, a mum-of-four from Potterspury, felt so strongly about improving communication between parents and children she set up Fink Cards, which makes products that get people talking and interacting with each other.
She said: “I don’t think smacking gets you anywhere. The moment you lose your temper you lose the argument.
“I realised good communication was fundamental to raising children.
“My children have all grown up really confident communicators.”
NSPCC service manager for Northampton, Nick Edwards said: “We all accept that parents have to be in charge and that clear and consistent boundaries are essential for children and young people to have a secure and happy childhood.
“But evidence shows that smacking is not an effective form of punishment and sets a bad example. It teaches children that violence is an answer and it undermines the trusting relationship between a child and their carer.
“Young people tell us it leaves them feeling frightened and confused but often doesn’t actually deter them from repeating what they were smacked for.
“And for a minority of bad parents who go well beyond smacking and seriously harm their children, it is all too often used as an excuse to social services, the police and the courts.
“Smacking undermines the hard work of people working in child protection and leaves many confused about what they can and can’t do.”
Recognising that parenting is a difficult job, Sure Start Centres offer a range of help and advice for parents, who want to improve their relationship with their child.
Cath Keohane, manager of the Spring Lane Children’s Centre, Northampton, said: “We run a lot of sessions looking at how parents can play and interact with children.
“We also do a special course ‘Positive Parents/ Positive Play’ that parents can attend that is run by two professionals who have been trained in that area.
“Parents can refer themselves or they can be referred by other people.
“It again all comes back to looking at how best to interact with the child.
“Sometimes if a parent is concerned about their child’s behaviour we can direct them to an educational psychologist, or other types of help. “We try and tailor the help to the need that is out there.”
WHAT YOU SAID
THE Chronicle and Echo put a poll on its Facebook site ‘Should you be allowed to smack your child?’ Over 120 voted and 57 left comments. Here are some of them:
n Jakathon Doyle: “I was smacked as a kid, and I think it helped! You can’t ground kids now that they have everything in their rooms.”
n Jeff Marcus Gaspard: “Kids don’t need to be smacked, but the option should be there if needs be. I was smacked, if you call it that, as a kid. I’m fully thankful, I was considering the man I am today rather than what I could have turned out like.”
n Pam Wright: “I was whacked, even as a teenager, wouldn’t dream of doing it to my girls. They know how to behave, have never had to use violence on them. I think that the Corrie storyline was interesting, it showed it as it really is - the terror on the child’s face - not nice at all. But obviously if you have done something wrong you do need to be punished - but there are other ways.”
n Steph McCrudden Thornton: “I was smacked as a child and it never done me or my brother any harm. It didn’t hurt my mum and dad years ago and people grew up respecting people.”
n Vicki White: “There is a world of difference between smacking a child and beating them, just as there are varying degrees of smacking. It is a sad world when parents are ridiculed for giving a child a tap on the hand because they won’t stop touching something they shouldn’t, even after all other methods have been exhausted.”
n Hayley Teapot: “I never had any need to smack my child. If you stick to your guns with punishments and restrictions all it took thereafter was a warning or a look to say I mean business. Explaining the whys and why nots to a child also helps and so often dissolved any family tensions. Reasonable, fair but firm always works and they respect you for it. Lose your kids’ respect and you’ve lost control for good.”
n Diane ‘Carter’ Dean: “I definitely think a smack on the bum with your hand is fine. Naughty steps and restricting stuff doesn’t exactly hurt and it’s only when things hurt a bit that the message sinks in.”
n Karen O’Mahoney: “So you teach children the way to deal with behaviour you don’t like is by hitting the person concerned - great idea. No-one will convince me hitting children is ever right. If you hit an adult you’d be done for GBH, but some people think it’s OK to hit a child by calling it ‘discipline’. It’s barbaric.”
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