The Chron finds out what it’s like living in a family of 11
EVERY day Judy Whitmore prepares meals for around 11 people, tackles summits of washing and the piles of ironing which come with having nine children . . .
But Judy tells me she wouldn’t give it all up for anything in the world.
“I know some parents dread the school holidays but I love them.
“I love spending time with them altogether as a family,” she said.
Judy, aged 44, and her husband Andrew, a plumber, aged 45, from Kingsthorpe, Northampton, have nine children aged from three years up to 19.
Their family size is far in excess of the national average which has long since dropped from the oft quoted 2.4 children. The Office for National Statistics has even predicted the average family size could drop to as low as around 1.8 by 2031.
“I didn’t always want a big family, I didn’t even want children,” says Judy, who has been married to Andrew for more than 20 years.
“Then I met Andrew and we had three.
“After that I said wouldn’t it be nice to have another one. Andrew works full time, so he said if I was prepared to look after them he was happy to support them. We just enjoyed it and we kept having more.
“I enjoy being pregnant and giving birth doesn’t bother me. The births were all straightforward until the last one.”
The couple would have had a 10th child, but they tragically lost their youngest son last year.
“Peter was still born at 34 weeks. He had Edward’s syndrome but we didn’t know until after we had lost him,” said Judy.
The couple have since decided to stop having children and The Whitmore family as it now stands, includes: William, aged 19, who is studying computing and works part time at CoolTrader, Bradley, 17, who is at college training as a chef, and works for Asda, Emily, 14, at Northampton School for Girls, John, 11, at Kingsthorpe College, Matthew, 10, Adam, eight, Honey, seven, Jasmine, six – all at Kingsthorpe Village Primary School – and Penelope, who is aged three.
And they all live in a three-bedroom house, along with five rabbits, two dogs, two geckos and one snake.
“We have converted the attic for the children,” said Judy.
“The children do share bedrooms, which they don’t always like.
“Bradley is now engaged so his fiancee is around a lot, so we have acquired another member of the family, but we enjoy having her around,” said Judy.
People do sometimes make assumptions about the family, but Judy says that many of the stereotypes about big families are false.
“You get people who ask things like are they all yours? Have you got a TV!!
“Some people will think because you have a big family you must live off benefits, which we don’t, or that your children will be trouble, when the opposite is the case,” she said.
“The way the children talk to each other and behave I think you can tell they are from a big family, as they all socialise and mix well. Matthew likes his own space more than the others.”
“The younger ones obviously have their fights and disagreements, like all families, but they do always keep an eye on each other and people often comment about how thoughtful they are.”
Since Judy and Andrew lost Peter they have made more effort to squeeze in time together, but as Judy calmly explains the amount she does in a day, the term “superwoman” does spring to mind.
“I just have to be very organised,” she said.
“Andrew makes us a cup of tea at about 6.15am each morning.
“We have 10 minutes together before the day starts and I go down and start getting them ready and organise breakfast.
“Then I take the younger ones to school. My children are never late for school and after that I spend time with the youngest one.
“You never clock off.
“I iron everyday. We have two washers and dryers. I do two washes every day and then sometimes an extra one on top of that.
“Emily is really good at helping out.
“The older kids have some chores and will babysit, and the kids have to put their washing away, but you can’t expect too much of them because kids should be kids.
“We eat all our meals together as a family, sometimes the eldest do their own thing, and sometimes Emily has church choir, but most of the time we eat together.
“I only have one oven, but it is big. I cook proper meals, so today they will be having roast pork. I used to work in catering so that was good training. I do a lot of baking.
“At bedtime they are all sent upstairs at the same time but the older ones can spend some time watching TV to a certain time in their rooms.
“By taking everyone up at the same time, we avoid the ‘that’s not fair’ debate.”
The family do budget, but it is clear they are pretty savvy when it comes to deals, and as I am chatting to Judy her son’s fiancee rings to say she has spotted a good deal on some meat.
“I am always looking out for deals.
“It usually costs us about £300 a week in food,” said Judy.
“One of the hardest things is it is not one chocolate bar it has to be seven or eight. If they see one of them eating one they all want one.
“They do share clothes but I will go to the Next sale and spend £400- £500 so that they have good quality clothes.
“The last time we went on holiday was three years ago. I know people who take their kids away every year and their kids just don’t get excited about going away because it’s normal.
“For our kids it’s so special that they get really, really excited.
“We normally get a minibus and a couple of caravans.”
Anticipating the problem fitting the whole family into a standard car I ask how the Whitmores get around.
“We don’t run a car.
“We actually gave our car to friends, as we didn’t use it.
“Andrew has a van for work. But we walk to a lot of places and if we are going on trips with friends we split them up in different cars.
“We plan ahead for things like Christmas, but one of the hardest things is the older ones already having things, so from the angle of them getting things of their own it can be difficult.”
But for Judy any sacrifice outweighs the benefits of having a bigger family.
“The children always have someone there for them.
After we have gone if they fall out with one sibling there will always be another there to look after them. They will never be on their own.
“You get out of it what you put into it, we try and teach them good values and show them the correct way to treat people.”
I ask Judy how she feels about the prospect of the family growing even larger in the next generation.
“We don’t want grandchildren yet, but we do want them,” she said.
“Andrew was one of seven, and I can’t remember how many grandchildren and great-grandchildren his mother now has, as all of the children have now had children, but she is 85 and she never forgets a birthday.”
Here’s what some of the Whitmore children thought of being in a big family
John, aged 11, said: “I like that I always have someone to play with. Our house is a lot louder than other houses, so they always seem really quiet. I do like to play with my little brothers and sisters. We have a trampoline in the back garden and that is really fun to play together on.”
Matthew, aged 10: “It’s alright being in a big family but it can have its down sides as there can be lots of squabbling and it can be loud. It is nice that there is always someone to talk to or play with though. But my favourite thing to play with is my corn snake called Predator. I got him for my ninth birthday.”
Adam, aged eight said: “I think it’s really good. There are always interesting things going on and I always have Matt and John to play with. We play with the play station, trampoline, soldiers in the woods . . . I like playing with the boys best.”
Emily, aged 14 said: “I like it but you are never on your own.
“I would like to have my own room. I was the only girl for a while so I got a lot of attention and I didn’t have to share a room. When the younger girls came along I had to share again, but I do like to have sisters.”
Honey, aged seven, said: “There’s always someone to look out for you. I like to play with Jasmine, Penelope and Emily and do hair and make-up.”
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Saturday 26 May 2012
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