An international movement encouraging women to grow old disgracefully reaches Northamptonshire
The Red Hat Society.
“THAT’s Ruby Thread in the trolley,” Queen Eliza Doolittle, tells me, “she likes her gin.”
Like many people in the coffee shop at The Northampton Garden Centre on this particular Wednesday morning, I have found myself surrounded by ladies in purple clothes and red hats.
There is even a stuffed old lady being wheeled around in a shopping trolley.
Odd as this scene sounds, it may be one that becomes increasingly common in Northampton, as an international movement encouraging older women to “grow old disgracefully,” has reached the county.
Locally this branch, or chapter as members call it, of The Red Hat Society, is being headed up by Karen Barnard, a 62-year-old from Collingtree village, or, as she will be known, Queen Karefree Karen.
“I found out about the society because a friend of mine was in a restaurant and these ladies came in wearing red hats, so I looked it up on the internet and found they were part of the biggest women’s group in the world.
“It is a social organisation originally founded in 1998 for women aged 50 and beyond.
“The founder was a women called Sue Ellen Cooper who lives in California.
“She got a 55th birthday gift consisting of a red hat along with a copy of Jenny Joseph’s poem ‘Warning,’ and it went from there.
“The group is about forging new friendships, trying new things and having fun.
“I think that’s something Northamptonshire really needs.”
And Karen is keen to get women in Northampton trying out all sorts of new things.
“We can do any sort of activity from tea parties to cookery to kite flying,” she said.
“It is growing old disgracefully and it will be up to the new group to decide what they want to do.
“I have been in PTAs, on committees but this is something different.
“The group will be called the Sassy Slingbacks and our slogan will be “Be a friend and make a friend.”
To learn more about the workings of the society Karen turned to Elizabeth Hamilton, aka Queen Eliza Doolittle, aged 69, who heads up the Milton Keynes chapter.
“I found out about it when I was on an art course in Cumbria and I was easily the worst watercolourist there, so I hid in the corner and I met a woman who said she was going to a jazz night with The Red Hats,” said Elizabeth.
“I asked her who the Red Hats were and she said ‘It saved my life.’
“Her son had been killed in a motorcycle accident.
“She lived in a small village and she said she became ‘that’s the lady whose son was killed’, but when she went to Red Hats she stopped being that lady and she was Margaret again.
“I decided to start up the group in Milton Keynes and it grew immensely. We had 45 to 50 by the first 10 months and there are over 100 now and it’s still growing.
“There are the Thoroughly Modern Millies and Scarlet Sparkles in Milton Keynes, the A1 Attractions in Stratford, the Daft Old Bats in Bedford, there are groups all over the Midlands.
“There are 116 chapters in the UK now and Northampton deserves a chapter too.
“We are not like normal grannies we seize life.
“People think women of 50 plus have a static life, but they have huge changes to deal with and huge responsibilities and they need some fun in their lives.”
Margaret’s work with The Red Hats last year saw the Milton Keynes Council and Age UK give her a Golden Wonder Award for changing the lives of women in the county.
“It’s not a charity. We do not do good. What we want to do is have fun and make friends - friends that will be there in sickness and health,” says Margaret.
“We do all sorts things, things people never thought they would do, and offer opportunities for friendship.
“We have done Bollywood dancing, Tai Chi in the park, we have been to a chateaux for lunch.
“We have parties, we have pub lunches, we have gone tobogganing, we plan to go to the dog races.
“At the end of the day girls just want to have fun.”
Marilyn Walker, the Marchioness of Merryweather, aged 63, has been in the Milton Keynes group for two years since last December, but had her reservations at first.
“I was a bit nervous at first about wearing the red hat as it is quite a bright colour,” she said.
“One of the first things they asked me to do was go tobogganing at the Snow Dome.
“I don’t like snow and I was asked to go on the toboggan run. I was really nervous but I absolutely loved it.
“Once I did it I couldn’t stop and I was racing up and down it again and again. Ever since I have been saying I must do that again.
“It is taking that chance on something and stepping out of your comfort zone.”
Rosemary, aged 63, Lady Minx Twinkle, added: “I think it’s brilliant if you see something you want to do then you just do it.
“It’s fun, it’s frivolous and I have found new friends.
“Something I have tried I wouldn’t normally is the Hokey Cokey and I have ben hobbling ever since, so I haven’t been able to it again yet, but I might.”
The next Red Hat Society event is a Sixes Tea Party (bring six of something) at Glebe Farm Close, in Collingtree Village, NN1 0NR on Thursday at 3pm. On Saturday, November 26 there will be high tea and ice-skating at the Beckworth Emporium at 3pm.
To find out more contact Karen by emailing kazzerbarnard@hotmail.co.uk or call Northampton 700455.
What did the Northampton newcomers think of the first meeting?
Pauline, aged 61, from Abington, Northampton, said: “There are groups in Northampton, the WI and the town’s Women’s Guilds. We have lots of little groups in the town and perhaps there are too many small groups and we need something that will bring all the small groups into a bigger group.
“I think it will be a success if it is fun and everyone is easy to get on with.”
Jean, aged 79, from Collingtree, Northampton, “I had never heard of this group before today. I don’t mind dressing up I was a witch at the weekend and I have been washing the dark grey out of my hair this morning.
“I’m into all sorts of things and I like meeting new people.”
Some of the rules of red hatting:
“It is for women aged 50 plus, under 50s wear pink hats and lavender clothes,” says Karen.
“We wear red hats and purple.
“Each chapter has a Queen and she’s the servant of the chapter.
“We all get nom de chapeau, we each choose our own silly name like Princess Powder Puff or Luscious Lady Liz, so when you are emailing everything can be done anonymously.
“When it’s our birthday month we reverse it so that we are in red with purple hats,” said Margaret.
“We do something every month.”
Warning By Jenny Joseph
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people’s gardens
And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
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