Level up your confidence game with upcoming confidence workshops

‘Learned behaviour can be unlearned‘

“Let’s talk about the challenge of not having confidence. Typically lack of confidence stems from fear – there is something holding you back. Intriguingly, we are born with just two fears -one is falling the other is of loud noises.

In my opinion most things after that are learned behaviour," says Jules.

To counteract this, she will be running a three-hour workshop in March dedicated to exploring and analysing various forms of confidence.

” Anybody who feels they would benefit from a confidence boost is invited to attend,” she says.

“I can guarantee that when you are with someone who exudes confidence, it’s going to affect you and once you have carried out that action you are scared of taking, and find it’s not as bad as you think, you are going to want to do it again. You are going to feel so confident at the end of it.”

The workshops are designed to be inclusive – all are welcome to attend.

During her research, Jules discovered a gender perspective on confidence ;women often express concerns about their appearance whereas men often mentioned behavioural issues such as not speaking up in a meeting.

A Key to Unleashing Your Confidence: Embracing Solo Adventures

Jules is a big advocate for solo travel – a solution she tried in response to being let down by friends who backed out of plans at the last minute.

“Being alone can be therapeutic, almost addictive. If you have someone that enjoys the same thing as you that’s terrific, but the problem lies in that very often you don’t.

Imagine the scenario where I am obsessed with a particular Dutch painter and decide to take you to one of his exhibitions. I want to stare at that painting for 15 minutes I’ll probably get all teary. I can’t imagine you’re going to want to stand there for 15 minutes. You’ll probably keep letting me know you’re not happy, make me feel rubbish about it, and want to leave. Alternatively you could have gone on your own with 895 people in the theatre who are all there for the same reason. My advice is, if you can’t find someone who also obsesses over the same thing as you, go on your own. You’ll have a much better time.

If you enjoy sitting down watching the world go by with a coffee, that’s lovely, just do it!”

Ignore ‘naysayers’ and don’t let ‘your tribe’ talk you out of your dreams.

The impact of other people’s opinions on our self-esteem is widely recognized, according to Jules. Criticism and judgment from friends, family members and even acquaintances can be enough to induce self doubt. This can be attributed to our tribal nature; deviation from group norms often triggers a negative response. For those lacking in confidence, this dynamic may result in shelving ideas or passions that you once believed were great.

Jules shares her personal journey towards fulfilling a life-long dream, undeterred by the criticism of others.

“Ever since I was a child, I had a dream of visiting Bora Bora, a tiny remote island in the Pacific Ocean.

Yet when I decided to pursue this dream I was met with disbelief and criticism. I had people calling me mad, bonkers and selfish; for wanting to go on my own without my family. Friends and colleagues did the tribe thing – they said ‘do you not think it’s selfish leaving your children?’ ‘You could get bitten by a shark, you could get ill.’ All were valid points but they didn’t didn’t put me off though.

Why do people feel the need to discourage others?

“It’s a tribal instinct”, says Jules. “When someone strays too far from the perceived safety of the tribe, there’s a pull to reel them back in. This is particularly pronounced in extensive family networks where departure from the group is viewed with fear and suspicion.

However, my desire to visit the cool crystal waters of Bora Bora was stronger than the pushback I was receiving.

“Determined, I marched into a travel agents in Abington Street and said, ‘I want to go to Bora Bora. I looked at the price, and booked it. I went on May 6th – I wanted to be there on a beach on my 50th birthday. It turned out to be the most liberating, exciting adventure of my life and nothing will beat that. That sense of freedom and adventure was incredible.”

Wear what the hell you like.

“Picture yourself about to give a presentation to a room of 25 people. What outfit would you choose to feel absolutely fantastic?

Remember, each day presents a new opportunity to select your attire and style your hair in ways that boost your confidence.

Your wardrobe can vary day by day. The key is to wear what makes you feel great, irrespective of others’ opinions. What matters most is your comfort and the confidence that comes with it.”

These and more issues will be explored in Jules’ upcoming workshops.

For further information on Jules’ upcoming confidence workshops contact: [email protected] tel: 07990786859

For more of Jule’s confidence tips visit: northantsmag.co.uk/five-ways-to-be-more-confident-in-yourself